I finished writing this while waiting to attend the funeral of my beloved high school English teacher. It seems fitting that I’m tinkering with a poem in the corridor before going in to see him. I think he’d chuckle and shake his head ruefully at me.
This poem is about the death of another beloved man in my life. My father in law.
The Butterfly
The butterfly came on Monday,
And yesterday you talked of flying.
The nurses thought you were imagining but
We knew you were remembering…
The postal service sea plane in Canada,
Mountains in Alaska and
Training flights out of Dundee –
The instructor’s shouts to, “press the damn pedal and turn left!”
You talked of travels around the globe.
Of Caribbean Sea swims and Raffles cocktails
And the peanut shells on the floor
Of unrealised Aotearoan dreams.
Your time in China, the people you met
And the sights you saw and shared with family,
Of the care they showed to your loved ones.
And we sang. Number 71 on the wall
Your mother’s favourite, I love to hear the story
You heard it so clearly but your whistle was gone and I couldn’t catch the last line.
Does your anchor hold? You’ve been ours
But the Lord is now your shepherd
(to the other tune though remember)
One eye on the clock for the 1:15 performance
A presentation on the subject of…
You – and what it’s like to be an icon.
- From the balcony
- Like the Pope
- And a musical interlude,
That hymn and your organ (bring the footplate, muscle memory is important)
I’m sorry I didn’t write down the lyrics before I took her home
But you told her you loved her and beamed
And it was everything I needed.
And I lied about the sheet music to keep you calm,
But you needed the words and I’m sorry.
You always were keen to give your best performance.
And she sobbed in my arms on the bench by the lifts.
I held your hand on Wednesday morning
And thanked you when we were alone for giving me your boy,
The love of my life,
and for my children.
I’ll take it from here and look after your loves.
You squeezed it tight then the moment was gone
And comfort was given by more than just presence.
And when quiet fell your life was complete.

