Do you struggle to balance solitude and loneliness? For someone who often feels lonely the thought of solitude can be a bit tricky. Particularly for me as I’m also an introvert. One thing I’m learning is that time alone is essential for me to recharge, but too much time alone leaves me feeling isolated and can lead to overthinking.
“The power to bring me out of solitude – or to push me back into it – had never belonged to another person. It was mine and only mine.”
— Martha Beck, Lessons from ‘Heartbreak Academy’
To find a balance between solitude and loneliness, I try to plan activities and tasks that make me feel productive while I’m alone. For example, I’ll go for a walk in nature, read a book, or do some writing. I also love wild swimming and do that as often as I can find time for. It definitely helps me to do things that require me using my body. I may be a big person but I love to run and swim and climb mountains. After years of being ignored, I’m not good at listening to my body’s whispers so I have learned to hear it by putting it in situations where it can shout!
I make sure to also plan occasional activities with friends, such as going out for lunch or to the cinema/theatre. This helps me feel connected and prevents feelings of loneliness. Having a set activity to do really helps me not over analyse when it’s time to leave – when lunch is finished or the show is over. I often combine time with friends with places I love so will meet a friend for a dog walk or to go swimming. Taking my own car and meeting them there gives me time to decompress on the way home too.
I know this may not be the case for everyone but limiting my time on social media is helping too. I can easily fall into comparison and that intensifies feelings of isolation – even when within a supportive online community.
Additionally, I make sure to take breaks throughout my day to give myself a few minutes to just relax and take a deep breath. Doing this helps me to stay grounded and mindful of my need for both solitude and connection. I love the coffee meditation on the Insight Timer app (link) as I can drop back into my body in the middle of a work day
Do you have a favourite thing to do when you need solitude? Or do you have any tips on cultivating connection? Please do share them with me as I learn. I love this blog post by Martha Beck on working out what kind of loneliness you feel and then working on that. And that’s what I’m off to do. Have a great day x